+ No longer a pumpin' fool +
That's right. Today I "announced" to my fellow users of the Mothers' Room here at work that I am officially no longer pumping at work. You have taken to cow's milk enough and the sippy cup somewhat so that I no longer need to be pumping, The last couple of bottles I pumped are in the freezer since I'm not sending anymore either. I don't know what I'll do with those, but I'll give them to you sometime I guess.

I'm really surprised by how sad I am about this. It's silly, really. There are a lot of great things that come with not pumping anymore, not the least of which is the resumption of wearing "normal" clothes to work. Hooray for that! But it also means you're growing up in just one more way.

But at the root of it all, I'm exceedingly proud of myself. Not only was I able to breastfeed you for more than a year (and we're still going strong!), but I was able to pump from my return at 8.5 weeks postpartum until you were a year old. When I came back to work, I had ABSOLUTELY no idea what I was doing and/or whether or not it would actually work. I freaked out about my supply and how much - or little - I was able to pump. I got kicked out of the room they sort of set up for me next door and pumped in a bathroom stall for weeks. I finally got up the nerve to do something about it, and I almost single-handedly set up a Mothers' Room here at work that is still being used full-time by 4 other mothers. I just got a note of thanks from the Director of HR for that.

And so my sadness is softened by my gratitude to myself and my company. I can take the pump home tonight, sterilize it all and box it up for storage. And I can trust that when and if the next baby comes, at least this time I know what I'm getting into. And I know I can do it.