+ 364 days +
This time last year, I was pretty darned pregnant. It was a Tuesday, and I'd been off on Monday for President's Day. Good thing, too. I spent some of the long weekend packing some bags for the hospital. They weren't done, but they were in pretty good shape, and I knew what I still needed.

Tuesday was a weird day. I had some difficulty focusing at work, I remember that. And I was having a lot of trouble with my back. I felt better in the morning and thought maybe I'd have a better day. The week before I had been really uncomfortable. The long weekend seemed to give my back and hips a bit of a break.

At 5:00 that evening, I went to the doctor for my first internal examination. That was so pleasant. Ha! I was about 1 cm. dilated, and really not making any progress. Bummer. That night I went home, had myself a grilled cheese sandwich and sat down to watch a little mindless TV: American Idol. Around 7:40, I felt a POP! inside my body.

Instinct took over and before my mind could catch up, I was racing full-speed for the toilet. By the time I got there, I was a mess and so was the bathroom floor. I'm pretty sure I shouted an expletive on the way, which brought Daddy running on my heels. Sitting on the toilet, a lovely sight I'm sure, I smiled at him in a very apprehensive way. He asked me, "What's wrong? Are you okay?!" I said, "Um, yeah, um, my water just broke. I think. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, it must have." He said, "Are you sure?" I said yes, and he asked, "Well, what do we do? Do you need to call your doctor?" I said, "No, I think we are going to the hospital, but it's not an emergency I don't think. The water's clear, and they said if the water's clear we have time."

I piled a couple of super-flow menstrual pads in fresh underwear and changed my clothes while Daddy gathered himself together. I packed the last of the bags, as much as I could think to pack (I forgot some things, of course), and sent him running for various things to help. I called Grandma and asked her what she was doing. She said she'd just taken her sleeping pill. I told her that was really unfortunate, because she'd need to be up for a while, my water just broke. She laughed and literally head off to, uh, expel it. (Gross!).

We piled some waterproof pads and towels in the passenger seat, loaded up the car (sans car seat... that would have to follow later), and headed off to Good Samaritan Hospital. Of course, we had no gas. That was my own fault. I had to rush to the doctor after work, so I didn't have time to stop and get gas. So, we stopped on the way to the hospital. I used the cell phone to call Grandpa John and Grandma Carol-Ann. Grandma was happy to hear, and since she's a nurse she didn't even need me to assure her that things would take a while since I wasn't even really having contractions yet.

That started to change on the rest of the drive. I felt a couple small contractions, and I could tell things were "different" in there. You moved around a little more, or at least I could feel it more without all that cushion of water. Amazingly, the water just kept coming and coming. I didn't soak through the waterproof pads, but the towels on top were soaked. Walking through the parking lot I looked like I had seriously peed my pants! Of course, I was clearly pregnant and waddling so I'm sure it was obvious what was wrong with me.

We went to OB triage, and I proudly announced, "Hi. My water just broke." They hustled me past the waiting room (where others looked at me quite enviously, I might add), to the next desk. I said the same thing to them, adding, "I'm only 36 and a half weeks, and I'm not really having any contractions yet. And I'm positive for Group B Strep. I just found out today and I don't know if they sent the paperwork over yet." They put me in a little room since all the beds were full, and ran all the normal blood pressure, temperature, etc. tests. Grandma joined us in there, and she and Daddy sat on the floor with all our bags and pillow while I sat in the little chair.

While we waited, I called in to work. It was about 8:30 and I left a message for my boss that I wouldn't be in to work on Wednesday.

Before long, they put us in a triage room and had me change. They hooked me up to a contraction belt monitor thing and I was able to watch the contractions, which were starting to come a bit more frequently by that point. I was only in there a few minutes, and they wheeled me up to a delivery/recovery room where I was expecting to spend the whole rest of my stay. That was, until the OB resident came in to do another internal. I explained to her that I had had one only a few hours before and I was anxious to see if anything had changed. Her response? "Okay... Hmmm... What's that?" I looked at Grandma and Daddy with a worried expression, but I didn't say anything. She looked at me, and said, "I don't think that's her head, it feels more like her feet, but I'm not sure. We're going to do an ultrasound and see what position she's in, okay? We'll be right back."

Great.

A few minutes later, she came back with the machine and started looking around. It took a long time for her to figure out how you were sitting. To this day, I'm not completely clear how you were positioned in there. The fact that my water broke probably made it harder to see around, but I don't know that for sure. At any rate, it was determined that you were solidly breech. She explained to me that I have 2 options. First, I could have them attempt a version, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. If it does, I will probably still need pitocin to speed up labor since my water had already broken and I wasn't contrcting regularly yet. If it doesn't, I might need an emergency c-section. Second, I could just go for a c-section anyway. I didn't hesitate. I thought I remembered that versions are relatively unsuccessful and I didn't want the pain only to end up with an emergency c-sec. Plus, with my water leaking all over the place, I didn't know how stressful that would be on you.

So. C-Section it was. Of course, I'd eaten at about 6, so they made me wait. And contract. Oh, I'll tell you those contractions were speeding up and starting to hurt a LOT. I know I never really got to feel the real doozies, but these were pretty darned bad. If I'd been standing, I would have been moaning and holding on to Joe. I breathed through them and I was fine. They told us that we would probably go in around 2 or 3 a.m. since there was someone before me.

Imagine our surprise when around 12:45, they came in and told us to get ready, we were going down! I was actually in the toilet when they did this, and nearly had a panic attack. I started shaking, and I shook non-stop until just before the surgery began. They took me in a wheelchair with Daddy following to the operating rooms. He was taken into the recovery room to suit up while they prepped me. I remember it was really cold in there, and when they opened the back of my gown to do the spinal, I didn't know if I was going to truly have a panic attack or not. I couldn't stop shaking. I held the sleeves of the nurse's gown in front of me with white knuckles and rested my head on her chest. She held my shoulders and before I knew it, the spinal was in.

Everything was kind of in slow motion until the spinal was done, and then it all went to double-speed. They leaned me back and positioned me on the table very quickly, and before long I realized why. I was going numb very fast. They brought Daddy in and by this time I'd finally stopped shaking. In fact, I was in pretty good spirits all of a sudden. Must have been the morphine. :) I was relatively lucid, and couldn't feel a darned thing. They put warm towels on my chest and arms, and they felt heavenly.

They went to work and the cheerful anaesthesiologist (sp?) entertained me throughout. Daddy took peeks once in a while at what was happening and did a good job of not looking too scared. He asked me once, "Are you sure you don't feel that?" and I said yes. They warned me once about pressure, and then I definitely felt it. It wasn't that bad, just, well, pressure. A few seconds later, the doctor told me that she wasn't coming out easily, but she was definitely a girl. Daddy looked and saw your butt on its way out. A few seconds more, and there was relief in the room, and a cry. You were born. 1:25 a.m. Our little Ceili Morgan.

I think Daddy cried as he brought you to see me.